Thursday, December 30, 2010

Everyday Beauty


There is beauty all around if we take time to see it. Cultivating a grateful heart means eyes wide open to what is in front of you....


Like drinking warm green tea from a cute old cup....



Eating lunch and flea market shopping with flea market lovers...or wanna be lovers...ha ha ha


Finding a small old shelf that will fill up an empty spot.....


And finding time to rejoice even when circumstances are the same...

"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4

Love to you,
Karen


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I want something different

Yesterday I took a long stroll in the mall all by myself. Crazy right? I mean who goes out into the mall on one of the biggest return shopping days of the year? Me! I had this urge to get out and look around and it wasn't going away until I did it.

Some of my favorite shops are just not doing it for me anymore. I don't know what has gotten into me and yesterday I found myself not really wanting anything I came in counter with. Then I got to thinking.....maybe its because I have too much stuff already! I mean how many sweaters can I buy this holiday season? How many times do I have to stroll past the store with all the tall chocolate boots? Enough is enough.

I can sense that I need to take a step back and realize that I need/want something different. My husband and
I are doing a bit of reflecting this week. I guess that is what you do when the new year comes. For us the new year is coming at a perfect time. Just when the year is changing so are our hearts. We are looking and longing for this one thing: simplicity. You might wonder...what does simplicity look like? I guess that is the question we hope to answer. In this very moment it looks like cleaning out my closet and actually wearing the clothes I have. It means for me to stop eating so much so I can fit into some of the clothes I already have. Laugh if you want but its true. :) It means for me to get organized and to start appreciating the world around me.

My friend
Megan White introduced me to this blog called Kendi Everyday. I like this girl. I like her style and advice she gives about clothes and closets. Starting today I am going to takes some of her advice and apply it.

Since we are on the subject of wanting something different. I want the words that come out of my mouth to be different as well.
Holley Gerth is writing a series of letters about words and how we can serve with them. Nothing is hitting home more for me than this series. I so desperately need to think before I speak. I have lost sleep over the conviction from the Holy Spirit over my choice of words. I know it all starts with my heart though. I pray God is teaching you new things. A dear friend wrote to me today and said she was praying for me to Expect God today. I pray that for you as well. What a gentle and loving reminder.

Love to you,

Karen

Monday, December 27, 2010

How was your Christmas?






Hi! I hope your Christmas was everything you wanted it to be. We went to my parents home close to St. Louis for Christmas Eve and it turned out to be a Winter Wonderful Land! The snow was perfect. The kind you can make great snow balls with.

Zeke, our dog came with us this year and he decided to be a hyper hypo everywhere he went. Bringing him might have been a mistake but at least he had some fun.




We spent Christmas day together at our own house and opened up gifts together. This is something we don't get to do every year so it was extra fun for us. We did nothing all day but watch movies and eat candy!


Then we headed over to Bryan's parents home and had more delicious food and opened up gifts together. Always a good time.



I am already planning out my week and plan to do a little after Christmas shopping. Looking forward to hanging out with friends as well. I am grateful for this break. I am trying to plan out the coming year as well. Things I want to accomplish or be a part of. I am planning on doing this 28- day challenge here. My focus is to take the body challenge part of it only and use some of their relaxation tips. I won't be successful with all of it but I thought doing some of it would be fun. Just trying to get back in shape. :)

I am wanting to read this book very soon. I can't wait actually. I already read the first chapter online. The kindle edition is out but the hard copy will be released soon. I prayed and asked God what book I should read next and a few days went by and this book came to my attention. God is so faithful and good like that. I am excited to read it and can't wait!

I am also planning on participating in the 2011 Siesta-Scripture Memory Team! You can be a part of it too! Read all about it here. It will be challenging but very rewarding. I can't wait to see what God will do! I am thankful for this challenge because its just what I need.

Trying to cultivate a grateful heart can be a challenge for me right now. Don't get me wrong..I have a lot to be thankful for. I just tend to choose the wrong frame of mind and focus on what I don't have. I don't want to be attached to that stronghold anymore.

I pray you have a wonderful day!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Very Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Today was a wonderful day because it was full of Christmas parties and holiday treats. My secret santa got me some VERY cool gifts. My secret santa was my coworker Amy who has become one of my dearest friends. When I got my new job in August, Amy and I really hit it off from the start. She makes me laugh and she is very understanding. I love how God works and He loves to surprise us with new people in our lives! She is such a blessing!

Since we are on the subject of friends...another dear friend surprised me at work today and brought me a graduation gift and a Christmas gift. Ronda is her name.... and she is just one of the coolest people I know. She is really what I would call an angel in my life. I couldn't imagine life without her. She is so wonderful in every way. I was thrilled to see her!

Tonight we got to do Christmas with our dear friends Robby and Tal and their sweet little girl Ella. Ella made Christmas so special for us tonight because she was so excited about her presents. She loved everything we got her and smiled the whole time. She is sooo cute!

I just felt like God came down and gave me a big hug today. So many new and old friends and so many blessings. I pray you are feeling that love tonight as well. He is good and He is strong. So much bigger and stronger than anything we are facing friends.

I know a lot of us might be missing someone or something this Christmas season. We have a longing that is going unfulfilled right now or we are still waiting patiently to feel normal again. I just pray that we would stop and recognize God for who He is. I so desperately need to worship HIS awesomeness!

Love to you,
Karen

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Wonderful Life

I am getting ready to watch my all time favorite Christmas movie...It's A Wonderful Life. I grew up watching this movie with my mom. As a little kid I didn't really get the full concept of the movie. I just liked being with my mom and watching it together.

As an adult I can't wait to watch it every year. This may sound selfish but I love watching it by myself. I make popcorn and lock myself in my room and watch the whole thing. I even like to say the movie lines out loud. I will always cry at the end too. I could watch it over and over.

If you have never watched it, I encourage you to do so. It might be just what you need right now. To sit back and reflect on your life and realize YOU make a difference. YOUR life counts and matters to so many people. Even when life is confusing and you don't understand the reason why....you can look and realize that life is really wonderful. We just need to take off the blinders and see the truth.

My favorite part of the whole movie is when George Bailey claims that he wants to live again and then he starts taking off and running through the streets in his town and yelling MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Oh man...it gets to me!!!

Please tell me...what is your favorite Christmas movie???

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Changing



I write to you as a new woman. A woman that is free from papers, assignments, projects, and spending endless hours in class. I don't get to officially walk until the spring because the college I attend only has spring graduation but I am very very happy. I think I even caught a glimpse of my old self the other night as I was singing loudly in the car to one of my favorite songs. I am thankful. My dear awesome friends gave me a fun graduation party. I love you friends! I couldn't do life without you.

As I enjoy this time of freedom again, I am filled with anticipation of what is to come. I had a few moments of panic when I realized that I don't have anything keeping me distracted anymore. So instead of fighting the change, I am changing other things as well.

I took one step and deleted my facebook account. I like facebook. It's fun and you can connect with so many people at once. I just found myself comparing my life with other people when I logged on. I want to appreciate my own life....just the way it is. We only get this one chance...and I want to make it count. So if I was your friend on fb, maybe I will catch you some other time. Maybe we can actually meet in person and talk face to face. I would like that. :)

Lord willing, I plan to read more and write more. I hope to invest time in my family and in my friends. I hope to experience God the way I know I should be. I am also hoping for some time of rest. Not the kind of rest where you don't get out of bed, but the kind that energizes you.

On another note...my sister Patricia, Trisha, Pat, Trish, whatever I might call her in the moment, did come down this past weekend. Yes, we did laugh and cry and even managed to bake several Christmas cookies. I love that girl. We made some good memories and I was so sad to see her go.







Love to you,
Karen

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Finishing Up

I just spent the entire day finishing up a big final project. I loved every minute of it. I created an entire 6th grade girls group from start to finish. This project has been in the works for some time but tomorrow it's due so I had to really organize it today. I implemented songs, activities, questions, art, and much more. This can be used within the school setting. The girls group is entitled: Beautiful You. It's all about building a positive self-concept and connecting together as girls. It's about creating lasting friendships and learning how to be drama free! :) I love it and I am super proud of it! I can't wait to actually use it one day.

On another note....I have 4 amazing sisters and one of them is coming to visit me in a week. I am so happy I can't see straight! We take turns having a "sister weekend" and its my turn to host! We will be baking Christmas cookies and doing other fun things that involve Christmas. I will post pictures of our time together.

This week our church is hosting the 33rd Annual Springfield Live Nativity Pageant. If you live in the area you should totally come and invite your friends. The admission is free and you watch it from your car. I will be singing in the choir a few nights and nothing makes me happier during Christmas time then to sing those awesome Christmas Carols. It makes me happy to know that some people will be hearing the story of Jesus for the first time. I pray for hearts to be soften and lives to be changed. Come experience the Joy!



Love to you,
Karen

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Philippians 1:29

"For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him." Philippians 1:29

It's somewhat hard to believe that it has been over three long years that we have waited and prayed for a child. I remember when this trial first started taking place that I would always look to the future and think.."Maybe next year at this time we will have a child etc.". I was always picking myself up and wrapping myself up in hope. I have never felt like it was
mandatory for Jesus to give us a child. I haven't approached God with demands and time lines, but I have approached him with deep deep sadness. Sadness that probably shows on my face. I have often walked into church wondering if people could see the emptiness inside of me. Over the last few months I just don't hide it anymore. I can't help but be grateful at the outpouring of love I have felt from my opportunities to be real. I have friends in the faith that send me messages and emails and notes and speak truth into my life. Sometimes those nuggets of encouragement and truth allow me to walk into the next day.

I guess my focus lately has been accepting the bitter truth of where I am spiritually. I have never been here in this place in my walk with God and I don't want to stay. I know where I am and its not where I want to be. I have had a few conversations this week with some people I dearly love. One of them being my husband. He confronted me about where I was headed emotionally with my sad heart. I wasn't upset with the fact that he had concerns, but I was upset with the fact that they were true.


Our dear friend Joe is teaching our Sunday School class this month, and he is doing an amazing job. He has spoken a lot of truth to us. We are currently reading Philippians and the verse above struck a cord with me. Not only are we to know God and believe on him, but we are to suffer for him. I wish I was that girl that was on pregnancy number 3 or 4. I have always wanted a big family. God knows me and he knows my dreams and desires. He knew I would be here in this very time in my life. I can't help but wonder what he is up to. He has full control and he is the giver of life. For some reason he has allowed this suffering to be present in our lives.

I am so grateful that God can see the big picture as to why. I so want to Trust Him because He is deserving of it. I have walked myself to a lonely place instead of walking towards Him. I guess this post is an outpouring of my cry to be on higher ground and out of this pit I have been living in. I am thankful for James 4:8 tonight.



Love to you,
Karen

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Back to Work

My Thanksgiving break was wonderful. I ate lots of turkey and mac & cheese. My waist line is feeling the pain from all the great food I ate. : ) I went shopping for hours and drank several peppermint mocha's from Starbucks! I got to visit with all of my family and spent quality time with my sisters. Family is good. I shopped at Crate & Barrel for the first time. Go ahead and gasp. Yep, I never went into the store until this weekend. My oh my...I loved every inch of the place. You might be bummed out to know that I only purchased some Holiday soap but it smells and looks wonderful. :)

My tree is up and we are in full Christmas mode around here. I am excited about Christmas and all the magic it can hold. I am even more excited about being finished with grad school in about 2 weeks. So wonderful!


Jen Campbell, my multi-talented sister-in-law took our pictures recently. She is fun and fabulous with her photo sessions. I loved all the pictures she took. I just wanted to leave you with one that makes me very happy. I love my red cow girl boots. I hope that you have a wonderful week.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

This heart is grateful

First off....I passed my huge comprehensive exam! Praise Him! I have three more weeks of school and then I have officially completed my masters. I am so happy!

I remember back in the fall of 2008, attending small groups at Matt & Jen Campbell's house. We were reading this book by Erwin McManus called...Wide Awake. I read that book cover to cover.

God used that book to speak directly to my heart about my love of people and my love to counsel. I spent a lot of time hesitating about what I wanted to do after my undergrad degree but after reading this book I knew. I didn't want to waste one more month on "thinking it over"...I knew it all along. So, that time for me lead me to this moment now. Let me tell you, I am humbled by God's grace and plan for my life. Thank you Matt and Jen for helping this life be changed. Thank you Erwin for writing such a powerful book. Thank you Bryan Campbell for all the meals you made me, and all the encouraging words you spoke into my life. For the countless high fives, and the extra roles you took on. You truly are my best friend. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on and gave me hope during those long hard months. Thank you to the most powerful God for believing in me. May I be your servant all the days of my life.

Enjoy some pics of the last few weeks of my life. :)


Studying for Comps
Bryan and our adorable nephew Ean!

Girls Night! Erin & Jen!

Me & Lindsay!
Thanksgiving at the Campbell's with our international college friend Max! We are getting to know him still and we think he is very nice and fun to be with.


Have a wonderful week!
Karen

Friday, November 19, 2010

Busy Bee

Hi! I still love my blog and haven't forgotten about it! I can't even tell you how busy I have been. I know a lot of people are busy. I took my final comps a week ago (still waiting for results) and I studied what seemed like forever! I got family pictures taken, watched my nephew Ean for awhile, went to a girls night out, and recently celebrated my husbands b-day. This weekend is full of family and Thanksgiving already! Not to mention all the homework I still have. But I am just three weeks away until school is over! Yeah! Tears come to my eyes when I think about it.

Can't wait to share more pics soon. Hope you are staying well!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Cherished




Yesterday evening and this morning I attended the Springhill Women's Conference. The conference was entitled: EXQUISITE. All the design work was done by Jen Campbell.

Can I just say that I had the most amazing time? I was not expecting to walk away so full and so blessed. My heart was overflowing with God's goodness and just his awesomeness! I literally had an ah ha moment while I was there.

Our guest speakers were two sisters Heather Gilion & Holly Snell, authors of Dancing On My Ashes. These two ladies are so authentic and so in love with Jesus. Please take time to read their book and even invite them to speak at your next gathering. I can't wait to hear from them again! Thank you Heather & Holly for saying YES to our God!

(Holly & Heather)

Are they not the cutest sisters? Not to mention some of the best dressers around! They speak the Word of God with boldness and with such a tender heart. I believe God is doing so much through them. Amen.

We had three different sessions at our conference. Every session was amazing. I am on the Women's Ministry team at Springhill and we had spent almost a whole year planning and praying for this conference. I didn't realize that God was going to speak so clearly. I am humbled by what he showed me.

I won't go into great detail about every session because I could fill up two blogs pages just of all the truth that was spoken. I felt broken Friday evening. Especially when Heather and Holly encouraged us to get alone with God in the sanctuary. We spread out and just prayed and heard from God. I loved that time but I could hardly keep my sobbing under control. I just felt like God literally came down and touched my cold cold heart. God revealed to me that I doubt him and that I have built up anger inside that needs to be repented of. We sang some sweet old songs like Purify My Heart and As the Deer. Oh my...it was so good!

Saturday (today) we revealed a lot of lies that we have been believing about ourselves. We learned that God is into giving us new names! We tend to carry around old names or names that are not true about us. They mentioned several different names we could possibly carry around like...unworthy, forgotten, unloved etc. If we identified with any, we were suppose to hear the real truth spoken over us and to walk away with our new name. I identified with the name Forgotten. I wake up in the morning and wonder why God has forgotten to bless me with a child or why God has forgotten about my hurting sister or why this or why that. I have believed the lie that God is not into me and that he has overlooked me. This couldn't be further from the truth. My new name is actually listed above: Cherished. I was so moved by that word. God has wonderful plans for me and I am Cherished! Amen! I am praising God for his love! I am so thankful for his kindness!

Thanks for letting me share! Enjoy these pictures of the sweetest ladies around!








Thank you for reading! We had a great time!

Karen

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Be Well

My husband has been sick the last few days. He is running a fever and it just breaks my heart. He hasn't moved from the couch. When my husband says he is sick...he means it. I am trying to avoid getting sick. I have been worried about all my friends catching colds or having the stomach bug already. I have already had a cold but I am trying to avoid the worst part of it.

I am not a doctor or a health expert. But I wanted to share with you some common things that seem helpful to me. This is not advice or anything..more like some ideas that you might find inspiring. I get sick too but I like to help people when they feel blah. These ideas are pretty basic and you probably heard them all. But just let me mother you for a few seconds. :)

*Get plenty of sleep. That is right. Unplug the computer and the TV and get some good ZZZZ. Best thing you can do for yourself.

*Drink plenty of water...all day.


*Drink hot tea


* Take Vitamin C


*Stay away from bad sugar-it weakens the immune system

*Sweat. Sweating releases toxins from your system

*Take deep breathes. We are all so stressed.

* Do something fun and laugh


* Read the Word and Pray-this brings life to your soul!


*Buy something small for yourself that makes you happy. I bought myself a new CD, which rarely happens but it makes driving so much better.


I care about you and want you to be well. Be well in all areas of your life. Thanking God for you too!

P.S. I am so excited about our Women's Retreat this weekend! Can't wait to share with you what the Lord did!

Love to you- Karen

Monday, November 1, 2010

Beautiful Weekend

You probably would enjoy seeing pics of my weekend but do I have any?? Nope. :(

My husband reminded me that people who read blogs like to see pictures. I would agree and will try to work on that.

Confession Time: I took a long hour nap on Sunday. I didn't sleep the entire time but I just laid in the silence. It was amazing. You would think that since I don't have kidos that I get that time to myself a lot.... but I don't. And to be honest...sometimes I just need to get away from myself and my nagging thoughts. After I woke up from my rest, my husband handed me a bowl of homemade vegetable soup. I have got to say...my husband is an amazing chef! He picks the best recipes and makes the most random and wonderful dishes. The cutest thing about his cooking is that he always wants me to really like it, which is easy because I usually love it! He got on this cooking adventure when I started grad school and ever since its become something different and fun for him to do. His dishes usually take an hour or more to make. Serious time people!

Our church had a fun kids festival, which I heard was amazing. We decided to stay home and spend time together. Plus we really wanted to love on our neighborhood with some candy. We had the best time talking with people and seeing the cute kids. It was a blessing and we ended the night with shakes and fries from McDonalds. I have a serious sugar problem and McDonalds was all my idea. :)

I pray your week is off to a great start! Our pastor encouraged us this week to thank people who have invested in our lives....I will post more on that this week! I have a lot of people to thank!
Love to you-
Karen


Friday, October 29, 2010

Waiting With You...

I did a little window shopping downtown after work today. The weather is so perfect! I wasn't looking for anything in particular. I love looking for fun, vintage items though! I found a few things that I liked and might be back for.

When I thought about starting this blog I told myself I wasn't going to be fake but I was going to be real..no matter if I felt like a fool about it. I want to help other people and not stay locked up in my world. I have been trying to share my life with you. I am not even sure anyone is reading my blog but I am happy to write anyways because maybe it helps someone.

As I was shopping today I just had this overwhelming feeling about wanting to be a mother. I want to be a mother so badly. Sometimes I wish my kid was just waiting for me at home. I wish I could pick up a cupcake or a new toy on my way home for them. I am not trying to act like motherhood is all roses. I think I can be pretty realistic about it. But it doesn't change the fact that I really want to be a mother. How every holiday I get a lump in my throat. Wishing I was the one shopping for that Halloween costume etc...

Waiting just stinks. Trying to figure it all out makes me tired. I have so much growing to do inside. Today I just confess that it can be really hard waiting. You may feel the same about your situation. But I know we are not without the merciful love of Jesus....and today that thought is getting me through.

Waiting with you,
Karen

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Thinking of you!


Here is a fun pic of me and Steph from this weekend. I am trying to be funny if you can't tell!

On another note...I am just thinking of all of you who are having a rough week. I know a lot of my friends have been sick and I haven't felt the best myself. The weather is really starting to change and I am already thinking of Thanksgiving and Christmas. I can't believe how the months fly by!


I have felt myself feeling anxious the last few days. Last night I went to bed very early. I tried to read my devotional and hear from God before I went to sleep. The topic was about Hope and my flesh wanted to stop reading it. But as I continued, my heart was set at peace about how God is so working in our lives. We are right in his plan and he knows exactly where we are. Even if we look around and feel confused about our surroundings he knows it all. He is so good that way. I am praying for our hearts that they would be filled with the Hope only God can give.



Love to you,

Karen

Monday, October 25, 2010

Happy Weekend

This weekend was super fun. I got to see one of my very favorite people...my friend for life Stephenie Combs! We went shopping in Branson and enjoyed Friday and Saturday laughing together. I am so mad that I forgot my camera!! Steph took some pictures and I hope to post them later. I am determined to get a nice camera soon so I can start capturing my life. I have never been excited about taking pictures but lately I have an urge to try! Wish me luck!

Saturday afternoon I went to Arkansas to go camping with my Sunday School class. The place was so beautiful and I had a great time talking with everyone by the fire. The food was so good and the dark hot chocolate was a nice way to end the evening. I have some pretty amazing people in my Sunday School class...I just love them.


I am on fall break from grad school this week! That means more time with Bryguy! Yeah! I am currently working on a list (God willing) of all the things I want to do after grad school is over. I am so excited! Some ideas are small and others are life changing. I am just excited for what God has in store. I am currently looking for a place to visit this summer. Not a place for a vacation but more like a mission. More to come on that later.

Praying your day was good. Remember..God is faithful and he has not forgotten you.


Love to you,
Karen

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Exquisite Conference

If you live in the Springfield area, I want to personally invite you to the Exquisite Conference. This is a Women's Event being held at Springhill Baptist Church.

Heather Gilion & Holly Snell, authors of Dancing On My Ashes, will be joining us for the conference. Heather & Holly will be sharing from their hearts as we focus on, What we do. Who we Are. Who He is. Exquisite.

I am so excited about this time and I believe it's going to be amazing! I love when women come together to worship and hear the Word. We all need a little girl time right?


If you want to come go
here for more details. Scroll to the end to find the info. I pray you are doing well.

Love you!
Karen

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Unseen

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

Our pastor at Springhill reminded us and challenged us about how important it is to have daily renewal. I sat in church listening intently to every word because its what I needed to hear. Since starting my new job I haven't taken a lot of time for myself. I rush through my morning, my afternoon, my evening, just to do it all over again. This week, I came back to where my head and heart need to be....in the Word of God. My schedule has made no time for Jesus or things that are most important to me. If you would follow me throughout the day you would see that some of my priorities might be backwards. This verse above really hit home for me.

It's hard wanting to please everyone. It's exhausting trying to get it right all the time. What I need to worry about the most is am I pleasing God? I want to stop focusing on the seen and starting focusing on the unseen. I want to humble myself before God and be renewed day by day because that is what matters. The more I try to do it on my own the more I fail. I don't want to feel depleted and empty. I want more of Jesus...more time in silence praying to my Creator who knows what is best for me.

Love to you-
Karen

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Graduation Fever!!



These pictures make me laugh! I like taking goofy pictures. I am very excited to say that in two months I will finally have my masters in school counseling! Let the countdown begin!

I am celebrating today because I have senior fever bad. Doing homework use to sound fun and challenging but now I just need a break. I thought about moving on to get my licensure but a break is what I need the most. I have some fun things I want to do in the spring time and I am looking forward to spending more time with my family and friends.

It took me a while to even think about getting my masters so this is a big deal for me. I am very pleased with the program I went through at Evangel University. Evangel just feels like home to me...full of great professors.
I am ready for a new chapter in my life! What about you? Do you have anything exciting going on? Anything you plan on celebrating?

I hope you had an amazing weekend. My pastor at church brought an amazing message about daily walking with God. I was encouraged. I need to get off here and get my game plan ready for the week.


Love to you,

Karen

Friday, October 15, 2010

In Need of Rescue

Your comments and encouragement from my last post meant a lot! Thank you all! I read all of your comments twice..maybe more!

Thank you for letting me share part of my story. I will not post about this struggle all of the time. I refuse to have a pity party or sound like a victim on here. That is not my intent. My goal is to connect with you and grow closer to God. For the last year, I made a poor choice to isolate my feelings about our journey to start a family. I have realized how destructive that has been for us. God has been merciful to me, and showed me where I was wrong. I allowed my struggle to become a stronghold in a strange way. I withdrew myself from people and from things I really loved. I felt, and still do at times, deeply insecure about it all. I thought that if I kept it hidden and locked away that people wouldn't see my pain. As I continued to lock up my pain, that is when I started to believe a bunch of lies about myself. It was a war going on inside my heart and mind.


My walk with God has meant everything to me. I realized though that I didn't know how to worship God and love Him when he wasn't giving me a child, a child I wanted so desperately! I don't mean that disrespectfully at all, because God is worth worshipping just because of who HE is! He is enough! But, its one thing to sing about it and the next to really live it out. I am glad my relationship with God has grown deeper. During the deepest hurts he is building a faith that will last.

Ok, well..I didn't mean to go so deep into that again. But I want to end with this....I loved watching the Miners get rescued! I couldn't stop crying or smiling when I watched them come up one by one. It was so awesome to see this happy ending! I can't identify with being trapped under ground for 70 days. But I found myself so moved by the story. Not to sound corny here...but I believe its because I am in need of rescue too. Not from a mine but from myself. And God just happens to be the ultimate rescuer! I have decided that instead of locking up my pain that I will run to the God who rescues! May you do the same.

Love to you-

Karen

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

(Picture taken by Jen Campbell)

Above is my very favorite picture. This is a pic of me and my husband. This sign actually hangs in our living room, right by our front door. Every time I see this picture it moves me. It reminds me that my HOPE should be in the Lord. We have been hoping for a baby for some time now. Hoping, waiting, and praying. It's been a long journey but I have grown a lot. Sometimes it feels like I am moving backwards though. My dearest friends could tell you that I haven't been myself the last few years. They have watched me cry and struggle through this dark valley.

Today, I just want to say thank you for my friends and family who lift us in prayer. Who send us cards, and notes of encouragement. Your kindness is so meaningful. You have been a light to us on a dark road. I will never forget your compassion and understanding. I know the enemy often wants me to feel alone, but its so clear that I am not.

I don't know when God will bless us. I am just going to keep on asking and believing though. No matter what your journey might be...put your HOPE in HIM! He is near!

Psalm 71:5

Love to you-
Karen



Monday, October 11, 2010

Let's Talk

I have so much to say to all of you... but I am taking baby steps here. I love when people can come together and share what is deep in their souls. But, we could use a little fun around here...right? I had a fabulous friend come over to my house last night (you know who you are) and she inspired me to write this post.




Some random things about me:


1. I am married to Bryan Campbell-6 years now! What a wonderful man you are Bryan Campbell. For those of you out there waiting for your spouse...you just wait! You never know what God has planned!


2. I am a high school counselor-such a wonderful and challenging position.


3. I have 4 older sisters (my parents had 5 girls). I know what it's like to have your shoes stolen by one sister, and be locked out of the bathroom by another.


4. I like great friendships.


5. I love reading multiple books at a time.



6. I don't sleep well.


7. I get excited when it rains really hard. Storms are exciting to me...but of course I want everyone to be safe. I guess I just like how powerful and amazing they can be.




I will stop here. You have more to do then read about me. So please tell me something random about you!



Love to you-


Karen

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Bruised Reed

I hope the fall weather is putting a smile on your face. I am enjoying wearing a sweater in the morning and treating myself to pumpkin spice lattes! I love FALL!

This morning I found myself asking God for forgiveness from so many things. Mainly things that all have to do with pride. I don't know about you but I like to plan and control my steps. I like to know what is going to happen next in my life. When I can't figure it out, I tend to pout and want my own way. I tried to break down my thoughts and determine what I really wanted to say to God this morning. I think what poured out of my heart came from a deep place. I just told God that I wanted to be whole again, I wanted him to heal my heart. I also realized that I need to do my part, which means I need to give him my brokenness.

I read a verse this summer that encouraged me and today that verse came to mind. Be encouraged my dear friends...

"A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice" Isaiah 42:3

I am not a Bible teacher, but to me that verse speaks volumes. It reminds me that God is so loving and caring towards the broken.

I love you friends.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

My Passion

I dream about it. I lose sleep over it. I get up in the middle of the night just to write down my ideas about it. I day dream about it. On a really hard day the idea of it can get me through. I have often thought about packing up my bags just to pursue it. I am referring to my passion and purpose to minister to women.

I believe without a doubt that God has created me to do women's ministry. I can't say that my life looks that way all the time or that I am even good at it. But there is a deep passion in my soul to do this one thing for the rest of my life. I can't tell you what it looks like for me but I know the passion is there. Trust me when I say that I have had recent struggles in my life that are trying to snuff out that passion. Those struggles, if not given to the Lord, have the capacity to make my teary self sit on the sidelines for years to come. I must expose the lies that are attached to my struggles, so that I can live out my purpose.

This blog is for Jesus. This blog is for you. I am just going to trust God and tell my story and pray that he uses it. Thanks for joining me as I pursue this passion.

What is your passion? It can be anything. Please leave a comment...I would love to hear it!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Looking Back

Bryan and I love looking at homes. We currently own a home but we never get tired of looking at new ones. We like to look at different neighborhoods and just be nosy. I am really not sure why... but we love it.

Tonight we found ourselves in an area we had been before. Sometimes we return to the same neighborhoods and rethink about living there. I wouldn't say we are looking to move but I guess we like to dream about it. We kept driving and we took a few turns and before I knew it we were by our old apartments were we lived several years ago. The memories came flooding back. I remember moving into that apartment over some strange circumstances. I was somewhat disappointed and confused when we made our move into that one bedroom apartment. But as I drove past there tonight I was surrounded by some pretty amazing memories. As we drove by I was twisting my neck to see if I could sneak a peak of our old front door.

I remember wanting to move from that apartment but tonight I found myself wanting it all back. Isn't that how life can be though? We often stand in the present longing for the past. I think its because sometimes we understand the past more than we understand the present or future. We know what happens in the past because we have been there, but we don't know the future.

If I could go back, I would tell my 23 year old self to enjoy every second and every twist and turn. I hope I can look back at myself someday in this moment and say the same thing.

*I hope to give this blog a makeover soon! Some new colors and pics to be added soon! Thanks for reading!



Monday, September 27, 2010

Too Excited to Sleep

I lost sleep the other night thinking about this blog. I was dreaming of all the wonderful people I will meet through here! I know it will take time and a commitment on my part.

I went for a walk the other morning with my husband Bryan. It was around 6:30 am or so and the sky was beautiful. I love fall mornings...don't you? You could still see the moon in the sky....which is amazing, yet the dawn was breaking through. Out of the blue I said to my husband, "I love when the night turns into day and you don't even notice it coming". It really blows me away to watch the transition right before my eyes.

Later that day my husband reminded me that sometimes our life goes that way too. Sometimes you are in the dark for so long you can't imagine seeing the morning coming. But it comes.

I hope that encourages you friend. You might be in the dark right now because life can be so hard. But, the morning will come and take you by surprise. There is always hope because we have Jesus! Amen!? He will walk us through and we will be better for it.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Welcome Friend

Over the last year, I have felt the desire to begin a blog but always felt insecure about the idea. I love blogs and I read several blogs a day. I love a good story and I love to be inspired by others. My intention for this blog is to encourage my readers. I plan on sharing my life and also sharing my faith. This blog is just one small step towards a God sized dream of mine.

Just like you, I know what it feels like to wait on God for something big. I know what it feels like to wonder if the sadness in your heart is going to overtake you. I hope that by sharing my life that God will take this pain and be glorified. I hope to share more of my story with you as the months go by.

Thank you for stopping by!