How can I sum up our last three weeks? Hopefully the pictures above can do the talking. Even though the waiting is very bitter and hard at times..we are experiencing a lot of joy. I have to admit that I am failing on a daily basis to stay in a place of freedom. I cry, I doubt, I plead, I wrestle with anger, and I lose sleep over it all. Test or no test..our son needs prayer to get stronger. STRONGER. I see that word in my mind all day. I pray that word all day. STRONGER. By the grace of God Caleb is doing well on other areas of development and as you can see in the pictures he is becoming quite the ham. His personality has started to shine and we accept it as a gift from God.
WE have three more weeks of waiting. I may or may not check my phone 10 times an hours waiting on a call. But then I find myself getting angry for waiting for it. So as you can probably imagine I am a mess of a mom just trying to keep a balance of my emotions. I have never felt so helpless. So inadequate. So dependent. When I find myself worrying all I can do is look up and ask for help. There is nothing I can google, nothing I can read, nothing I can tell myself to bring me the comfort I need. There is no escape from the thorn in the flesh. Caleb has a chalk board in this room and all I wrote was GOD- PLEASE COME. That is what I keep praying that HE would come and show his mercy over our son. To help Caleb to become STRONGER and to show him mercy. I so want to see my son walk and run and jump and live a full life.
God spoke Matt 17:20 over our family this week. "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain move from here to there and it will move and NOTHING will be impossible for you." When he spoke it to us I could tell he was pressing me forward to keep praying, to not give up, and to trust Him.
I would be a fool not to THANK ALL OF YOU for your constant prayers, your cards, your texts, your emails. Your words lift us up and help us keep going.Your friendship means so much. We need you and thank God for you. I am blown away by your love. This mom is forever grateful for your prayers.
The Campbell Family