Friday, October 29, 2010

Waiting With You...

I did a little window shopping downtown after work today. The weather is so perfect! I wasn't looking for anything in particular. I love looking for fun, vintage items though! I found a few things that I liked and might be back for.

When I thought about starting this blog I told myself I wasn't going to be fake but I was going to be matter if I felt like a fool about it. I want to help other people and not stay locked up in my world. I have been trying to share my life with you. I am not even sure anyone is reading my blog but I am happy to write anyways because maybe it helps someone.

As I was shopping today I just had this overwhelming feeling about wanting to be a mother. I want to be a mother so badly. Sometimes I wish my kid was just waiting for me at home. I wish I could pick up a cupcake or a new toy on my way home for them. I am not trying to act like motherhood is all roses. I think I can be pretty realistic about it. But it doesn't change the fact that I really want to be a mother. How every holiday I get a lump in my throat. Wishing I was the one shopping for that Halloween costume etc...

Waiting just stinks. Trying to figure it all out makes me tired. I have so much growing to do inside. Today I just confess that it can be really hard waiting. You may feel the same about your situation. But I know we are not without the merciful love of Jesus....and today that thought is getting me through.

Waiting with you,

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Thinking of you!

Here is a fun pic of me and Steph from this weekend. I am trying to be funny if you can't tell!

On another note...I am just thinking of all of you who are having a rough week. I know a lot of my friends have been sick and I haven't felt the best myself. The weather is really starting to change and I am already thinking of Thanksgiving and Christmas. I can't believe how the months fly by!

I have felt myself feeling anxious the last few days. Last night I went to bed very early. I tried to read my devotional and hear from God before I went to sleep. The topic was about Hope and my flesh wanted to stop reading it. But as I continued, my heart was set at peace about how God is so working in our lives. We are right in his plan and he knows exactly where we are. Even if we look around and feel confused about our surroundings he knows it all. He is so good that way. I am praying for our hearts that they would be filled with the Hope only God can give.

Love to you,


Monday, October 25, 2010

Happy Weekend

This weekend was super fun. I got to see one of my very favorite friend for life Stephenie Combs! We went shopping in Branson and enjoyed Friday and Saturday laughing together. I am so mad that I forgot my camera!! Steph took some pictures and I hope to post them later. I am determined to get a nice camera soon so I can start capturing my life. I have never been excited about taking pictures but lately I have an urge to try! Wish me luck!

Saturday afternoon I went to Arkansas to go camping with my Sunday School class. The place was so beautiful and I had a great time talking with everyone by the fire. The food was so good and the dark hot chocolate was a nice way to end the evening. I have some pretty amazing people in my Sunday School class...I just love them.

I am on fall break from grad school this week! That means more time with Bryguy! Yeah! I am currently working on a list (God willing) of all the things I want to do after grad school is over. I am so excited! Some ideas are small and others are life changing. I am just excited for what God has in store. I am currently looking for a place to visit this summer. Not a place for a vacation but more like a mission. More to come on that later.

Praying your day was good. Remember..God is faithful and he has not forgotten you.

Love to you,

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Exquisite Conference

If you live in the Springfield area, I want to personally invite you to the Exquisite Conference. This is a Women's Event being held at Springhill Baptist Church.

Heather Gilion & Holly Snell, authors of Dancing On My Ashes, will be joining us for the conference. Heather & Holly will be sharing from their hearts as we focus on, What we do. Who we Are. Who He is. Exquisite.

I am so excited about this time and I believe it's going to be amazing! I love when women come together to worship and hear the Word. We all need a little girl time right?

If you want to come go
here for more details. Scroll to the end to find the info. I pray you are doing well.

Love you!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Unseen

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

Our pastor at Springhill reminded us and challenged us about how important it is to have daily renewal. I sat in church listening intently to every word because its what I needed to hear. Since starting my new job I haven't taken a lot of time for myself. I rush through my morning, my afternoon, my evening, just to do it all over again. This week, I came back to where my head and heart need to the Word of God. My schedule has made no time for Jesus or things that are most important to me. If you would follow me throughout the day you would see that some of my priorities might be backwards. This verse above really hit home for me.

It's hard wanting to please everyone. It's exhausting trying to get it right all the time. What I need to worry about the most is am I pleasing God? I want to stop focusing on the seen and starting focusing on the unseen. I want to humble myself before God and be renewed day by day because that is what matters. The more I try to do it on my own the more I fail. I don't want to feel depleted and empty. I want more of Jesus...more time in silence praying to my Creator who knows what is best for me.

Love to you-

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Graduation Fever!!

These pictures make me laugh! I like taking goofy pictures. I am very excited to say that in two months I will finally have my masters in school counseling! Let the countdown begin!

I am celebrating today because I have senior fever bad. Doing homework use to sound fun and challenging but now I just need a break. I thought about moving on to get my licensure but a break is what I need the most. I have some fun things I want to do in the spring time and I am looking forward to spending more time with my family and friends.

It took me a while to even think about getting my masters so this is a big deal for me. I am very pleased with the program I went through at Evangel University. Evangel just feels like home to me...full of great professors.
I am ready for a new chapter in my life! What about you? Do you have anything exciting going on? Anything you plan on celebrating?

I hope you had an amazing weekend. My pastor at church brought an amazing message about daily walking with God. I was encouraged. I need to get off here and get my game plan ready for the week.

Love to you,


Friday, October 15, 2010

In Need of Rescue

Your comments and encouragement from my last post meant a lot! Thank you all! I read all of your comments twice..maybe more!

Thank you for letting me share part of my story. I will not post about this struggle all of the time. I refuse to have a pity party or sound like a victim on here. That is not my intent. My goal is to connect with you and grow closer to God. For the last year, I made a poor choice to isolate my feelings about our journey to start a family. I have realized how destructive that has been for us. God has been merciful to me, and showed me where I was wrong. I allowed my struggle to become a stronghold in a strange way. I withdrew myself from people and from things I really loved. I felt, and still do at times, deeply insecure about it all. I thought that if I kept it hidden and locked away that people wouldn't see my pain. As I continued to lock up my pain, that is when I started to believe a bunch of lies about myself. It was a war going on inside my heart and mind.

My walk with God has meant everything to me. I realized though that I didn't know how to worship God and love Him when he wasn't giving me a child, a child I wanted so desperately! I don't mean that disrespectfully at all, because God is worth worshipping just because of who HE is! He is enough! But, its one thing to sing about it and the next to really live it out. I am glad my relationship with God has grown deeper. During the deepest hurts he is building a faith that will last.

Ok, well..I didn't mean to go so deep into that again. But I want to end with this....I loved watching the Miners get rescued! I couldn't stop crying or smiling when I watched them come up one by one. It was so awesome to see this happy ending! I can't identify with being trapped under ground for 70 days. But I found myself so moved by the story. Not to sound corny here...but I believe its because I am in need of rescue too. Not from a mine but from myself. And God just happens to be the ultimate rescuer! I have decided that instead of locking up my pain that I will run to the God who rescues! May you do the same.

Love to you-


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

(Picture taken by Jen Campbell)

Above is my very favorite picture. This is a pic of me and my husband. This sign actually hangs in our living room, right by our front door. Every time I see this picture it moves me. It reminds me that my HOPE should be in the Lord. We have been hoping for a baby for some time now. Hoping, waiting, and praying. It's been a long journey but I have grown a lot. Sometimes it feels like I am moving backwards though. My dearest friends could tell you that I haven't been myself the last few years. They have watched me cry and struggle through this dark valley.

Today, I just want to say thank you for my friends and family who lift us in prayer. Who send us cards, and notes of encouragement. Your kindness is so meaningful. You have been a light to us on a dark road. I will never forget your compassion and understanding. I know the enemy often wants me to feel alone, but its so clear that I am not.

I don't know when God will bless us. I am just going to keep on asking and believing though. No matter what your journey might be...put your HOPE in HIM! He is near!

Psalm 71:5

Love to you-

Monday, October 11, 2010

Let's Talk

I have so much to say to all of you... but I am taking baby steps here. I love when people can come together and share what is deep in their souls. But, we could use a little fun around here...right? I had a fabulous friend come over to my house last night (you know who you are) and she inspired me to write this post.

Some random things about me:

1. I am married to Bryan Campbell-6 years now! What a wonderful man you are Bryan Campbell. For those of you out there waiting for your just wait! You never know what God has planned!

2. I am a high school counselor-such a wonderful and challenging position.

3. I have 4 older sisters (my parents had 5 girls). I know what it's like to have your shoes stolen by one sister, and be locked out of the bathroom by another.

4. I like great friendships.

5. I love reading multiple books at a time.

6. I don't sleep well.

7. I get excited when it rains really hard. Storms are exciting to me...but of course I want everyone to be safe. I guess I just like how powerful and amazing they can be.

I will stop here. You have more to do then read about me. So please tell me something random about you!

Love to you-


Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Bruised Reed

I hope the fall weather is putting a smile on your face. I am enjoying wearing a sweater in the morning and treating myself to pumpkin spice lattes! I love FALL!

This morning I found myself asking God for forgiveness from so many things. Mainly things that all have to do with pride. I don't know about you but I like to plan and control my steps. I like to know what is going to happen next in my life. When I can't figure it out, I tend to pout and want my own way. I tried to break down my thoughts and determine what I really wanted to say to God this morning. I think what poured out of my heart came from a deep place. I just told God that I wanted to be whole again, I wanted him to heal my heart. I also realized that I need to do my part, which means I need to give him my brokenness.

I read a verse this summer that encouraged me and today that verse came to mind. Be encouraged my dear friends...

"A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice" Isaiah 42:3

I am not a Bible teacher, but to me that verse speaks volumes. It reminds me that God is so loving and caring towards the broken.

I love you friends.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

My Passion

I dream about it. I lose sleep over it. I get up in the middle of the night just to write down my ideas about it. I day dream about it. On a really hard day the idea of it can get me through. I have often thought about packing up my bags just to pursue it. I am referring to my passion and purpose to minister to women.

I believe without a doubt that God has created me to do women's ministry. I can't say that my life looks that way all the time or that I am even good at it. But there is a deep passion in my soul to do this one thing for the rest of my life. I can't tell you what it looks like for me but I know the passion is there. Trust me when I say that I have had recent struggles in my life that are trying to snuff out that passion. Those struggles, if not given to the Lord, have the capacity to make my teary self sit on the sidelines for years to come. I must expose the lies that are attached to my struggles, so that I can live out my purpose.

This blog is for Jesus. This blog is for you. I am just going to trust God and tell my story and pray that he uses it. Thanks for joining me as I pursue this passion.

What is your passion? It can be anything. Please leave a comment...I would love to hear it!