Looking through old notes..

Found this scripture today from a Beth Moore Kansas City Trip my church took back in 2005.

“The Lord God is my strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army….He makes my feet like hind's feet and will make me to walk (NOT TO STAND STILL IN TERROR BUT TO WALK) and make spiritual progress upon my high places  (OF TROUBLE, SUFFERING, OR RESPONSIBILITY)” Habakkuk Chapter 3:19, Amplified Bible

I should have known when I woke up at 2:30 am this morning that the day might be a little interesting. I just didn't know all the twists and turns the day would take. I am struggling with trying to complete everything on my list. I wish I had more time in the day to complete everything. It just feels like I am moving at a slow pace. Ever feel that way?? I am desperate to stay organized, yet I find myself doing the opposite! I think I might be my worst enemy here. :)

So tonight, I decided that I am going to take some time to regroup and focus. Drink some tea, write, read, and try to regain my sanity. I think we all need some time outs in life. I pray you are getting the rest and peace you need in yours.

7 Years of Growing

This weekend Bryan and I will celebrate 7 years of marriage. 7 years of learning and growing with each other. 7 years of ups and downs with complete surprises. 7 years of total faith. This weekend also marks another anniversary for us. This anniversary often goes unspoken between us. It will be 4 years of struggling with a monster called infertility. Although it seems much longer than that as 5 years ago we said goodbye to our baby that we will one day hold in heaven. Even now as we celebrate our expecting child in February, I still think of the sweet life I held in my womb for a short while years ago. Heaven is much sweeter to us now. 

7 years of marriage and plenty of it was spent with tears on our pillows, silent hand holding, and unscripted prayers. Many calls to each other to find relief from the pain and the sweet reassurance that we were in this together.

In the good and the bad we have found much more than living out our vows. We have found a deeper connection with our Savior and with each other. We learned how to love and surrender when nothing made sense. 

So as you can imagine this anniversary is extra sweet for two people who have walked an unplanned journey. A journey that was unplanned but not wasted. A journey that made us different but in a good way...the beauty from ashes kind of journey that only Jesus can bring.

So this weekend we celebrate for more reasons than one. But, we mostly celebrate God for changing us and Holding Us Together.




Love to you,
Karen

Sleepless on my Sofa

"The extent of prayer in one’s life is a direct function of whether something else has been set up as more important than God." Ann Voskamp

http://www.aholyexperience.com/

I can't sleep. I struggled with insomnia in my teenage years and it seems to be returning for this season in my life. Tonight I decided not to fight it. So here I am...but tonight I have more problems then my lack of sleepiness, I have a heavy heart.

I was reading Ann Voskamp's blog above and you haven't checked her out before you will be hooked. She wrote an entire blog post about prayer and that quote above really made me stop. My summer seemed so full because I had all the time in the world to spend time with God and trust me I did take advantage of it. But, my work has returned which has been nice but I find myself spending all my energy on work and then I am exhausted for the day. Or I spend all my time cleaning and organizing and not stopping to worship. This is sin in my life and tonight God is calling me out on it.

So maybe its not just because I can't sleep but its because God is after my heart and He will even use 3:00 am to grab my attention. I accept his invitation. He is good and worthy of prayer and praise and I can't even begin to write everything He has shown me. I don't want to forget a thing.

Sleep well,

Karen

Welcome Back!

Hello family & friends! I am back! I took a long break from the blogging world but this new weather has brought some energy to my soul! Sometimes it's just hard for me to write. If I don't feel it...then this blog stays blank. I felt like someone covered my mouth this summer because I was just speechless. I didn't know what to say or write. God has been prompting my heart to speak out more.

Bryan and I received some news on Treasure Island Beach, FL that really sent our hearts spinning. We found out in June that God had blessed us with a miracle. We found out we were expecting! It's been hard for me to write about. For one, we have been nervous and unsure of everything but very grateful. For two, my heart longs to serve and minister to women...and that is why I started this blog. To share our journey..and our journey for a long time was waiting for that special news. I will forever remember our journey and the passion I have to serve couples who are or will walk our journey. I still know of so many people longing to be parents. So my heart is still very tendered to that and I pray that it always will be.

Thank you for letting me share our news. We are humbled by it all and I don't take one day for granted. I am praying for you!

Love to you,
Karen

Happy Saturday!

My summer break has ended and I have been back at work the last two weeks. It has been good to be back. I love having the summer off but I think I like my job more. I like staying productive and investing in the lives of others.

Over the past two years I have worked and gone to school full-time. Having that all come to an end and having complete free time was mind blowing. After having this summer break I can actually hear myself think and I took plenty of naps to catch up on all that sleep I missed. :)


I am grateful for the rest the Lord provided for my soul. He always knows just what we need.


I pray your Saturday is beautiful and blessed!

Love to you,
Karen

My Redeemer

God has been speaking to my heart about His redemption. He is my Redeemer in so many areas of my life. He has been redeeming places, friendships, and circumstances. I have been humbled by His grace. As I was trying to compose my thoughts, the song by Waterdeep called  "You have Redeemed my Soul", kept coming to my mind. I can relate to these lyrics and what it means to be a burned out forest. But I know that Jesus restores, rebuilds, and brings beauty from the brokenness.

You have redeemed my soul
From the pit of emptiness
You have redeemed my soul
From death

I was a hungry child
A dried up river
I was a burned out forest
And no one could do anything for me
But You put food in my body
And water in my dried bed
And to my blackened branches
You brought the springtime
Green of new life
And nothing is impossible for You

Harvard

I had a chance to visit the beautiful grounds of Harvard! I made Jessica take a few pictures of me thinking on the Harvard campus...just for fun. :)

One Cancellation, Three Delays, & a Devoted Sister

Pictures from Boston!

 

Hi! I am back from Boston! I went to visit a dear friend who is now a doctor and pursuing her career at an awesome hospital there. Boston is absolutely beautiful and stunning! I couldn't get over the energy and the feel of the city. Everything moves at such a fast pace and it's so different from my little life in Missouri. I am so happy for my friend and her accomplishments! Can't wait to go back!

Getting to Boston was a breeze and it was nice getting out and being a traveler again. Returning home was a different story. I picked the earliest flight possible because I was flying into Chicago to get back home and I wanted to be early instead of late...depending on delays etc. Well, in my case this thinking didn't matter. I know that flight cancellations and delays happen every day but it still stinks. I woke up at 3:50 am in Boston to make an early flight to Chicago and then on to home. I should have been home at 10:30 am our time but it didn't work out that way. As soon as I landed in Chicago my flight to home was cancelled! Eek! I desperately wished Bryan was there to help me choose a different way home but I had to put on my big girl pants and work it out myself. :) I was alone, very sleepy, and was eager to be home. I quickly tried to rebook something but everything was routing me through Dallas and then to return home at 9:00 PM! It was 8:00 am when this all happened. I tried not to cry but the tears came. After speaking to the rep I just gave up and said.."Can you at least get me to St. Louis?". I knew that if I picked STL that I would be in MO in a few hours. I knew I had several sisters who would try to help. It's nice to have a family.

I booked my flight to STL and that plane ended up being delayed three different times! But the sweet part is that one of my sisters took off a whole day of work to rescue me from the airport when I arrived, took me to lunch, and drove me half way home. Bryan left his work early and drove the other half of the way. Now, that is love. I am so grateful for family!

I deeply love this song

This song hits home for me during this season of my life and you can catch me singing it really loud in my car. :) Enjoy.

More Vacation Pics!

Egmont Key Lighthouse

Morning Coffee

Enjoying the sunset

I love this verse...

I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me.

 I will rejoice in doing them good.....

 and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.

Jeremiah 32:40-41

Florida

We loved our trip to Florida! We watched every sunset and played in the ocean for hours. We collected seashells and ate the most delicious pizza ever! I am so happy we went.

"For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight."

Ephesians 1:4

I Never Knew....

I never knew exactly how my life would turn out. I had ideas of what I wanted my life to look like but sometimes it looked fuzzy. I didn't become a believer in Jesus Christ until I was 16 years old. I remember going through insomnia, and depression before I got saved. I remember holding my mom's hand in our living room trying to explain my deep longing for peace. Looking back, I can now see the spiritual battle that took place around me...the battle for my soul. During that time I felt alone, confused, and I didn't have any hope to feel myself again. Jesus came into my life like a warrior...changing my heart and my life. He became my King. I am so grateful God pursued me over and over. He was patient with me.

As I sat in church on Sunday morning I began to tear up because I never knew. I never knew the beauty He would make of the mess I was in. I never knew I would have an awesome husband, with awesome friends, and a life I would deeply love. I never knew the places He would take me, or the trials He would entrust to me.

I never knew...how amazing this relationship with God would be.

He is good and we can trust Him.

Love to you,

Karen

The Game

My dog is super smart. Sometimes I think he is smarter than me. When I am cleaning the house, he likes to play a sneaking game with me. It goes something like this: I clean, move things around etc and I usually always find his toys and place them in the laundry room. I leave the room and when I am gone he goes into the laundry room, get the toys and throws them back on the floor. He may look innocent in the picture above...but I tell you, he is not! Those toys in the picture above were just put away. :) The funniest thing is that he waits until I leave the room to make his move. I love you zeekers!

Sunday Night Smoothie

Usually on Sunday nights, if I haven't been to the store yet...I am looking all over for some healthy food but we are usually all out. So, I use all my slick tricks and create a smoothie from my own imagination. I just look for what I have left and put it altogether. Final product: Crazy delicious!

Sunday Night Smoothie

A cup or two of left over pineapple

One last cup of strawberry yogurt

One cup of coconut milk

A few shakes of wheat germ and flax seed mill

One frozen banana

One cup of frozen strawberries

Blend as desired

Side Note: Before you think about throwing out your old bananas at the end of the week, you should peel and freeze them. They make smoothies rich and creamy and you don't waste anything, which is a bonus!

Just give it to HIM

Sitting in church tonight, I was encouraged by the fellowship and prayer. We were encouraged at the end of the prayer meeting to take our desires and needs and to GIVE them to the Lord. God has consistently reminded me of that fact...that He is in control. He knows our steps and our story. I was also encouraged by this post today: http://blog.dayspring.com/, please take a second and read over it. You will be blessed! HE knows your story!!!

I didn't think they would grow. I came home and stuck them into the ground and muttered something about how they would never come up. A whole year passed and some slight growth took place. I could see that something was there but nothing really came up. More time passed and I could literally see the growth right in front of me. I noticed that the plant multiplied and there was no longer one stem but two. Buds were coming up left and right!!

Years later, I still can't believe how much growth has taken place since I first brought it home and gave it some love. I am amazed at how things so small, so weak, can become so beautiful. How truly there is hope, even for the faint of heart.

Beauty of the Day

I am blown away with the beauty of today! So pretty outside!

Today is dear to me and my family because today is my brother-in-laws birthday. He would have been 41 today. He is missed so much. Not a day goes by without a reminder of the deep longing to see him again. I think about him a lot...especially today. I asked myself if he was still here, what would I say? As a way to work through the grief, I decided to write some of the things I miss and remember..

How much he loved my sister

How much he teased me growing up...and when I would talk to my sister on the phone he always would say funny things in the background.

How often he would listen and offer encouragement.

He would try to teach me football..over and over again.

He was one of the funniest people ever...

How happy he was when Nora was born...so crazy happy

My list could go on with all the happy memories. Some are even hard to type or put into words. The biggest thing I miss is just having my whole family together. I know a lot of people can relate to that.

"But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your Salvation....." Psalm 13

What's a Girl to do?

This heart is heavy. Today I wondered how I will overcome this heartache and I thought a lot about the heartache in the world. So much to cover this week, so many prayers that need to be heard. I find my mind racing and sometimes physically hurting from the worry. So...I ask myself...what am I to do with all these emotions? Where do I take them? Where do I run? I am reminded that I have a Deliverer who wants to do just that in my life...HE wants to Deliver. So I run and I find peace in the fact that God has a purpose and He is strong enough to carry us all through.

Praying for Joplin

My thoughts and prayers keep going out to the people of Joplin today. It's breaking my heart to see the loss and the sadness. People are missing and loved ones are desperate to find them.  Please keep praying and donating.