Tuesday, July 3, 2012

I can't see

I got ready in the dark yesterday. It wasn't on purpose. I didn't choose the dark, it just came. I had an appointment to attend and I had procrastinated and when I went to get ready our electricity went out. I told myself to go ahead and get ready despite the darkness. As I was getting ready I started to be a bit annoyed that I couldn't see. There was a point when I started laughing out loud because I thought getting ready in the dark was very appropriate for my life in this season.There is something that I am struggling with and I can't see what is in front of me. God literally has given me a moment by moment look. I try to shine my light a day ahead and I see nothing. It's dark. I try to shine my light into the next hour and I still only see my two feet in front of me. I can't see. Jesus is leading me and He has asked me to trust Him. That's a pretty simple concept but it's actually real to me now. I get out of bed and I literally say it out loud that I trust Him. Another hour goes by and I say it louder. This is where He has me. As you can imagine, I feel very uncomfortable. I desperately want a flashlight, I desperately want control, I desperately want to call this whole thing off and turn around yet he cups my face and says to TRUST HIM. God has told me not to trust what I see and that HE moves in the unseen. Would you pray with me? Would you pray that I do? We are praying for His favor, for His mercy, for His provision, for His strength, for His healing, for His wisdom, for His hand. And I can't get that sweet Third Day song out of my head when they sing, "Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it away to you Jesus."

1 comment:

The Anderson Family said...

I have not checked your blog in forever & felt led to click it tonight. I am still up - can't sleep - thinking about my own 'darkness' & how I so desperately need to trust Him. I, too, am constantly being reminded to trust Him. You know I am praying for you :) & this is exactly what we talked about the other day - God is using you in this season to show others He is real, He is working, He hears our prayers, and acts on our behalf - He really loves us. Just being prompted - out of the blue - during my own anxious time - and reading your post - reminds me He is right here - He knows my anxious thoughts - yours also :) Love you!!